Ping pong

Beverage: diet coke from the fountain at work

Toast: here's to the bastards!

In my days with my ex, she used to ask me "questions" that seemed a lot more like criticism.

"Why are you parking here?" she'd sneer. "Why did you do that?"

The implication was clear: you parked in a stupid pace. Let's hear how you could possibly explain this latest fiasco.

It made me defensive and angry. I felt I was constantly getting judged and not measuring up. Plus, asking a question you know the answer to to bait someone is dishonest. It led to trouble.

Later on a wise person explained to me that maybe the judgement was all on me. Maybe she really didn't understand why I parked there and wanted to understand. Maybe the question was just a question. Instead of reacting defensively, meet the energy the same way it was given. Ping pong the ball back over the net.

I parked here because the car next to the closer spot looks like the driver is reckless and the other spot the guy was too close to my side.

Pause. Oh. Ok.

I remember being astounded.

It's a lesson I try to remind myself of lately. The merger as put a lot of people in bad, defensive places and some are responding poorly. Today I sat on a conference call through lunch with people that I allowed to irritate me and disturb my calm.

The attitude they were spewing and the self-serving nonsense they were talking had me on edge. I sipped my drink and didn't say a thing.

The conflict is between instinct and grace. My gut is telling me this is happening and to stick up for myself. But another part reminds me of the difficult position they are in and that I should let it go. But my gut gnaws and reminds me that these are important times and other people in the same spot aren't reacting that way.

I have to respond, but without rancor.

I have to find a way to play ping pong.

But for now I sip my coke and think.

 

Posted with Blogsy